Pangs

Days have been flying so quick that my daughter is already close to two years. Over this time, I have grown so used to being with her that letting her out of sight makes me anxious at times. When I started working again, it was a little difficult in the initial few days. I was worried - she will cry, she may not sleep, will not let her grandparents do things for her, and she will wait anxiously till I reach home. Wrong! I was totally wrong. On my first day to work, she happily waved goodbyes and blew out little kisses to me. My heart felt crushed as I walked away. There was a little silly pain somewhere in me wondering why she was not sad to the slightest extent. But over a period of time, I realized, that is the best way she made me leave for work happy and peacefully. Things would have been different if she cried. I wouldn't be happy while leaving and the thought would keep haunting me at the back of mind while at work.

Yesterday, was her first day at the day care. She was excited to carry the bag and was all set for school. Again, I was worried. She would cry, may not mingle with the kids, and I will have to carry her back, howling. Again Wrong! She just went in and started exploring the place happily. I had that crushy feeling, more intense this time, as I was leaving her in the hands of strangers. Back home, I just wanted the 2 hours to fly by. But time ticked slowly. I was anxious. As soon as it was 12 30 I rushed to pick her. To my surprise she was playing. And to my delight, she ran towards me as soon as she saw me. I was a happy and proud Mom! :-) Things were a little different today though. She was happy when we left her but started crying some time later. So had to pick her up early. But I really hope she gets adjusted soon without shedding any tears or drawn faces. 

These thoughts reminded me of my yesteryears. I clearly remember seeing my Mom through teary eyes, standing across from a window outside my class, on my first day at school. I cried for two days! I was nervous for the first few days at the new school, when we went abroad to be with our Dad. I cried each night for months when I was in a boarding school hostel, while in class V. Things did not change much even after growing up. Leaving for the college hostel after each visit home was still difficult for me. And worse, I broke down in front of hundreds on the day of my marriage. 

My lil Angel looks braver and sensible. Hope life has better and better in store for her always.